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Scout vs Crash (Death Battle)
Scout vs Crash is a Death Battle by The Irish VS Writer Description Season 1 Episode 2! Team Fortress vs Crash Bandicoot! These two speedy rivals of Sonic battle to the very end, Will Scout back up his mouth or will Crash's silence will come out on top! Intro (Cue: Wiz and Boomstick) Wiz: Sonic the Hedgehog has had many rivals over his nearly 3 decades of existence; Like the character, we just used Mario or the Lightning Mouse Pikachu. Boomstick: But today we will have a speedy guy who talks a lot vs a speedy animal who doesn't even talk at all...so we aren't scraping the bottom of the barrel at all! Wiz: Let's just get this over with, The Scout - Red Team's Merc with the Mouth! Boomstick: And Crash Bandicoot - The Spinning Hooligan from Down Under, He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick! Wiz: And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armour and skill to find out who would win a Death Battle. Scout (Cue: Faster than a Speeding Bullet) Wiz: The year was 1850 and the wealthy landowner Zephaniah Mann passed away and he handed over his land in New Mexico to his two sons Redmond Mann and Blutarch Mann. Boomstick: As brothers do, The two men argued over who owned the land and they decided to do the most reasonable option...To hire nine mercenaries and had them battle over and over again, These guys have the right idea! Wiz: Don't listen to Boomstick he is a madman, Anyway, This started the war called: The Gravel Wars! Each Mercenary had their own expertise, The Sniper shot down his foes from quite a bit away, The Engineer built machines used to shoot down any fool who tried to challenge him! Boomstick: The Heavy fucked up people with the biggest gun I have ever seen! Damn, I love this guy's style. And Pyro... (Pyro burns Sniper's face off) Boomstick: Yeah...that... Wiz: But even with all of these foes, One of the most fearful classes in the team is just a lanky man who runs around the place swinging a Baseball bat: His name, The Scout! Boomstick: Born in Boston Massachusetts, Jeremy was the youngest and runt of his eight siblings. Sadly, for him, Jeremy didn't even make it to the fight as he was way...too slow! Wiz: Yes his name is Jeremy! And so he decided to run and run and run! Everywhere he went, He ran! And soon not only was quick enough to get into the fights he was actually able to be the first man on the scene: And he decided to use these abilities to become a Mercenary. (Cue: Intruder Alert) Boomstick: But he wouldn't have become this good of a merc with his long list of weaponry like his Scattergun, And boy this gives me a bulge in my pocket that isn't a sandvich! Wiz: Why would you have that eh hem "response" to a piece of weaponry: But yes this weapon is quite powerful, The Scattergun can fire 6 shots before needing to reload and considering the fact that one shot can do about 100 per cent damage, Now imagine getting shot by that thing 6 times! Boomstick: But what makes this weakness not as bad is that it gives him an extra jump! Speaking of jumps, Scout can jump twice into the air! That doesn't seem to make sense! Wiz: It really doesn't sense to jump a person needs to be standing on something think and the air isn't thick obviously, Regardless, For his secondary weapon, Scout has his Pistol which is used for long-range in case his Scattergun can't land a shot. Boomstick: It can fire 12 times before needing to be reloaded and can fire 6 rounds per a second, That's 360 Rounds a Minute and can cause 15 Damage and A Crit shot can do 45 Wiz: But when his opponents get too close, Scout has his Baseball Bat, A weapon truly to fear. As it can be swung hard enough to knock out The Heavy, which makes sense since it can cause 15 Damage and A Crit shot can do 45! Boomstick: Hot Damn! That bat must hurt like a bitch! Wiz: Well a normal bat swing would hurt pretty bad but one from Scout would most certainly cause death or some serious injuries. Boomstick: That's fair but let's say Scout's guns and bats wouldn't be good enough against his opponents he has his Bonk! Atomic Punch, or just Bonk for all those people in the audience who can't be arsed to say two extra words. Wiz: Well it's not like that but I see where you are coming from. Boomstick: Scout uses this Coca Cola knock-off to make himself invincible for 8 seconds and dodge everything in the game including Rockets and Minigun Fire from Point-Blank Range. Wiz: Now you may be thinking that this drink is better than Pepsi (Which will never happen) but the problem with this drink besides the fact that he can't use his weapons during this - But also the fact that it contains 11 Pounds of Sugar. Boomstick: Oof! Wiz: For context that is more than twice the amount of Sugar to give a healthy American a 50/50 of overdosing, So if you drank it then your 100 per cent dead! Boomstick: Huh for a guy with such a lanky body, Scout can survive quite a lot. Wiz: But even with all these weapons and amazing feats: Scout isn't perfect, His Durability is nothing compared to his teammates, He can be very Brash and Arrogant, Some of his weapons lower his Durability, Guns have limited ammunition, while other items have a cooldown time between use and he's scared of Ghosts and Secretly The Pyro! Boomstick: So when your on the 2 Fort Battle-Field and you have successfully evaded having your head sot off, Or be blown to smithereens by Soldier and Demoman, You better not get cocky cause a certain Shotgun wielding loud-mouth will knock off your feet: With the Barrel of a Shotgun! Scout: If you were from where I was from, you'd be f**kin' dead! Heavy is on the ground trying to reach for his Sandvich but Scout runs up the side of a container, jumps off and slams his bat into Heavy's head. Scout: WOOO! Crash (Cue: Twinsanity) Wiz: You would need to be on another level of stupid when you try to create a super-soldier but you only ended up creating your worst enemy! Boomstick: Yeah there isn't much defence for that tbh. Wiz: Well Dr Neo Cortex despite his name was absolutely stupid. First of all instead of having the captain of his mutant animal army be like a Dolphin because they are quite intelligent, But instead Cortex decided to just have a bandicoot as a captain. Boomstick: Look - bandicoots are cute and all and they have some mad hops but come on they are just completely useless in battle! Wiz: But somehow, Somehow! Cortex completely fucked up the process in making the newly mutated bandicoot into a soldier, and it escaped onto the Wumpa Wumpa Islands and took up the name Crash Bandicoot. Boomstick: But Cortex still had Crash's girlfriend and of course he was gonna get his bitch back no matter what happens! Wiz: And so after Crash defeated Cortex thanks to his newly acquired skills that he learnt during his adventures, Crash soon became Dr Neo Cortex's worst rival and this rivalry lasted for many decades and each time Crash was victorious. Boomstick: Which is pretty obvious thanks to the skills and weapons he earned that we just mention, But hey let's just explain what they do. (Cue: Crash Bandicoot Theme) Wiz: Starting off with his most famous: We have his Spin Attack, Where he twists his body then spins around one leg to attack enemies which are strong enough to smash through boxes and has been shown to kill lions instantly. Boomstick: The Slide Attack allows him to travel short distances and can go under obstacles, And like the Spin Attack he can send people flying. Wiz: And finally he can do a body slam or the belly flop which is strong enough to shatter steel boxes without too much trouble. Boomstick: What a belly flop! Wiz: When it comes to weapons he has his Fruit Bazooka which allows him to fire wumpa fruits at his opponents, Yes it fires fruit but don't take that as a dumb weapon as it is strong enough to again shatter boxes like glass and explodes on impact. Boomstick: Sadly there is only one fruit per round which makes it worse when I say that he can't move while using it and making him open for an attack. Wiz: If Crash wants to be more mobile in battle he can use his Jetpack which of course can allow him to fly, It comes with Wrist-Blasters and sadly he is difficult to control but he can spin while in the air so yeah he can do some damn good stuff with it. Boomstick: Crash also has a Yo-Yo which he can use to ensnare enemies like the Spider themed opponent we had just used. Wiz: Crash has his Mech Suit - Which he can use to spray water at his opponents or he can shoot Wumpa Fruits as well and as well he can jump pretty damn high despite the size of this machine, He has the Mecha-Bandicoot which is 40 feet tall and is equipped with chainsaws, rockets and Plasma Blasts. Boomstick: We are still not done as he has some Power-Ups such as the Double-Jump which allows him to do...well what do you think ye tick! Wiz: Easy Boomstick, Crash has his Death Tornado which makes his spin attack stronger and faster than usual hell he can even glide with it. Boomstick: With the Crash-Dash, Crash can run significantly faster than he usually does, making relics easier to obtain and with the sneak shoes he can get across nitro crates without too much trouble. Wiz: With the Super Slide it lets Crash slide much longer distances than the normal slide does and the Rocket Jump allows Crash to soar vertically to reach high platforms, and reach certain areas. Boomstick: But sadly Crash does have his flaws. Wiz: That is correct - He is easily manipulated and has been many times before, He can't swim without his Skuba Gear and he does get distracted easily like our writer and Boomstick. Boomstick: Yeah isn't that right ''Irish!'' Irish: This section is over! Crash: Woah! Intermission Wiz: Alright the combatants are set, We've run the data through all possibilities! Boomstick: It's time for a Death Battle! ' ' Battle Location: The Wumpa Islands (Crash Bandicoot) Scout ran as fast as his long, lanky legs could handle. Rockets zoomed past his head as he taunted with "Don't quit your job, Your aim sucks!" The Merc with the Mouth skid across the sandy floor, Soldier was thrown off by the confusing move before suddenly he was punished by a shot through a chest making him shout in agony as he fell to the floor in a bloody heap. "Woo! Oh yeah!" Scout cheered as he then attempted to run away before suddenly he was stopped by a human-like Bandicoot. "Um, hello there...thingie?" Scout greeted in confusion as he then walked towards Crash slowly, Crash looked at Scout as he saw what he just did to the poor man and he was ready to attack. Crash attacked first, Smacking Scout in the face with a punch sending him flying. "Ow! What the hell is wrong with you!" Scout growled as he then sat back up, Crash didn't even flinch at this as he then ran towards Scout. "Alright, that's it!" Scout shouted as he equipped his Scattergun and got into a combat stance and prepared to fire at the rapidly approaching Bandicoot. Crash jumped into the air and charged with his fist reeled. FIGHT! (Cue: Crash and Burn) Results Category:The Irish VS Writer Category:Irish VS Writer DB Category:What if Death Battles Category:Gun vs Fists Category:Animals vs Humans